“But we chatted for weeks and he sent me so much money”
This morning, I had a NiteFlirt training session with a female flirt who’d been on the site for six months. She’d done well in chat. But, a customer came along and built a relationship with her for about 2 months. He’d sent multiple tributes along with his attentive chats and she said, he never asked for nudes or anything. I sent him like 10 photos of me!
“He just wanted pics of me sitting in a chair with my feet up, or in my car”. You know, candid shots. He would send her pics but never any nudes or dick pics. She was over the moon! But, it sounded oddly familiar.
All of the sudden, she sent a follow-up text after not receiving his normal good morning text and nothing. So, as they very often do, he disappeared or “ghosted her” with no warning, no explanation and leaving her missing that money that she’d come to count on. She began by simply wondering what ‘she’d done wrong’? Nothing. You/she did nothing wrong.
NiteFlirt customers come and go, trust me, it is not you.
This is the message of this post. Sex work, whether it be on NiteFlirt, cam work and escorting, it all means one thing…
We are offering a service and they are customers. It is not personal.
We are there to provide something to these men. Whether he is going through something medically, financially, or his wife is sick or he’s widowed with children or just lonely, or in prison or works too much for a real relationship or he’s weird and antisocial or just plain lonely.
We will often never know the truth about what that is. Often, they don’t even know what that truly is. In my 17 years of working on NiteFlirt, I can’t tell you how many ‘whales’ have come my way. Sometimes, they treat you with tributes and emails and you rarely even speak with them on the phone. It is wonderful when they swim our way…whales, are beautiful creatures.
Sometimes with chat, they will go back and forth with you daily for hours on end and send multiple large tributes. One such fella did that with me. He would send tributes first and then begin a chat session. Often, the chat was benign. He would chat about vacations, his wife “whom he loved” (they all say that) and his girlfriend who didn’t charge him to meet at a hotel once a month to fuck. Keep reading…
He would ask for pictures. Nothing nude, nothing rude, just pictures of me. He would send pics of himself, nothing nude and never his face. Sound familiar? I sent the stock photos of myself I’d already had on file, but eventually when those ran out, he asked one more time and I said, sure! I took a neck down shot and sent. The next text was in spanish. I don’t speak or read spanish. He disappeared. A week later, he said, “I have to stop using NF for a while, ‘my wife discovered my chats’. She didn’t.
You never know about these people. What was he doing with her photos? Did he use them to catfish men on dating sites? Maybe.
Always be leary of men on sex sites. They are complete strangers.
Another customer sent thousands and thousands of dollars. I would wake up to $100 in my account. No note. Just money. He rarely called. This was before the chat system. We wrote each other. He called once or twice, and sounded as if he had a speech impediment. We emailed often and our emails were lengthy. Thousands of dollars later, after about a year, he disappeared.
No explanation, no good-bye, no warning. I’d even had surgery in that year and he sent enough that I didn’t have to work until I felt like taking calls again.
I could give you many examples of this “whale” behavior. But, I’d rather just warn you. And, if you’re smart, you’ll take it as sage advice from someone who’s been in family/criminal law and phone sex for 20 yrs.
NEVER EVER TRUST THAT HE WILL STICK AROUND.
Never spend that money thinking, ‘Oh, well, he’ll send more tomorrow so I buy this today. Save your whale money.
Never count on strangers who use sex workers because the truth of the matter is…they have families, children and jobs who they are committed to. He is not committed to you. You give him something he needs whether that be ego, sexual or psychological-or he’s just cleaning cash with prepaid cards. You are nothing to him in the long run.
Keep your private life, thoughts and dreams to yourself (no matter how much he spends) unless you like sharing those things with someone who won’t treasure them.
Maybe, once in a great while you’ll have a ‘connection’ with someone on NiteFlirt or wherever, and that’s nice. We are after all human and we are generally likeable people. But, it’s rare that it lasts.
DO NOT COUNT ON ANY OF THESE MEN TO CARE MORE ABOUT YOU THAN THEY DO THEIR PRIVATE LIVES-their families, their jobs, their reputations and kids. And, what man is going to out himself as a user of sex workers to make your life (one that you share with hundreds of other men) more secure and comfortable than his own?
Just enjoy the benefits of what you have when you have it and move on when they do. Maybe, he’ll come back when he needs more of whatever it was that brought him around in the first place.
Candy